Taboo Talk

It's been a while, my apologies!! Here's the longest run-on sentence for ya. The thing is, throughout the days and nights I think of all the discussions I'd like to have with my Turf Wives because I have so much to talk about but at this point I share the house computer with my husband who works until it's midnight most nights on this very computer and the laptop and mini suck. So, it takes days of golfing (in yet another tourney) to get me here with just one more of my hopefully endless blogs. :)

There has been a topic I've wanted to discuss since I stated Turf Wives but to be quite honest I've been a little scared to. In the many years I've been a significant other to a husband in the turf industry, I've never encountered so many individuals with the same vices as my husband. By no means am I outing my husband publicly because not only can many of you relate, your husbands are right there with mine. And, to be perfectly honest, it's no secret.

Lets start with the morning, late morning, early afternoon and evening coffee. I mean honestly, we should all buy stock in that shit right? I'm sure it's not healthy to drink that many cups of coffee in one day but that's probably the healthiest of all the beverages of choice. Since we're on the beverage topic, have you heard the slogan "It's Miller Time!" yeah, well, it's Miller Time here on a regular basis. Hey, I get it, after busting your tail from sunrise to sunset and then some practically 7 days a week and I can support some R&R but from what I see out there in our small little industry, it's the norm to overindulge in this socially acceptable addition. Another shared vice I see often, cancer sticks. I was once a full time smoker myself so I'm not going to sit here and call the kettle black. I'll leave it at that. Cell phone and internet are on the list as well but since I'm currently addicted to both I'll keep my mouth shut. I'm sure many of you one, can relate and two, you have many more to add to my overfilling pile.

In a recent (and I mean two years ago) conversation I had with one of my best friends who's husband is in the industry (we'll call him "Bob") we both were astonished at how many vices, how much drinking and how amazingly functional these men are. If you or I had 8 beers well before 8pm, you'd find us passed out and regretful in the morning. So how is it possible that these men can have 8-12 beers in one night, get up at sunrise, be functional (more than I am without booze) and omg be PRODUCTIVE AS HELL?!?!? Sadly, yesterday I heard that another one of the Turf Wives was divorcing her husband. Obviously, something we all hear all too regularly. Details are, she's sick of the long hours, countless weekends without the children's father, lack of income for someone who puts in well more than 60+ hours but is only salaried for 40 of them and lastly, all the vices above and then some. It's sad, very. I can honestly relate to the frustration which I'm sure you can as well and I'm not here to judge but divorce should remain a last resort. In my household, it's not an option. Hopefully, it will never end up on the table for discussion. But I'm not naive and you shouldn't be either. So, if these situations are effecting you and your family negatively, you need to have conversations (not arguments) about them. You need to pick your battles but you need to confront these issues before they become piles of divorce papers drawn up my your attorney.

Each and every time I've constructively confronted a concern or annoyance with my husband, he's greeted me with an open mind and open arms. Yes, we've had arguments like all spouses have but I can honestly tell you they are few and far apart. Probably because I have no filter and I speak my mind as soon as I need to instead of letting it build up inside of me until I burst like so many people I know do. So, my husband is used to getting his ass handed to him when he walks in the door after a long day all because he didn't answer my last text message.

Let me reiterate my suggestion again. Talk. For god sake talk! If I hear one more man in this industry tell us he's getting a divorce and he is shocked I'm going to scream! (not really but you know what I mean) No one should be shocked. It should be a last resort and he should have been involved in the entire "let's not get divorced project" that is meant to save marriages with fixable flaws in the first place.

For today,
Beth